the nusing board exams

http://www.scribd.com/doc/22757096/November-29-30-2009-NLE-Room-Assignments-Manila-Testing-Center

this is it...

the moment of truth...

holy moly..

the best of luck to those taking the nursing board exams...

this one's about love.

Ano bang dapat ginagawa kapg magmamahal ka pero ayaw kang bigyan ng pagkakataon na mahlin sya? yung tipong, willing ka ibigay lahat, tapos ayaw niya. Sasabihin sayo "you're too good for me" kulang nlang bumanat ng "its not you, its me..." At kakapilit mo,at kakapilit ninyong dalawa, bigla syang mawawala, bakit? kase takot siya? kase tamang paasa sya? kase kahit anong tumbling mo di mo malalaman..

Dito umiikot ang usapan namin ng kaibigang kong di mo mawari. Ang payo ko? Wag nang pagaksayahan ng panahon ang taong papilit, pacute at tamang nagmamaganda. Bakit pa? kase mahal mo sya? di yan totoo,nabubuhay ka na lang sa sangdamukal na "what if" at kapag di mo pinilit iahon ang sarili mo, kakainin ka nito ng buhay,at walng kalaban laban.

Isa pang usapang pag-ibig,pano namn kung nagmamahalan na kayong dalawa, tapos ang saya saya mo,para ka nang nasa langit,para sayo, nothing could go wrong. Sabay babanatan ka ng : "Mahal mo pa ba ako?" Wapaak! Wooh..TUMBLING - SPLIT - BACK DIVE ka ngayon, iispin mo, "huh, bakit, may kulang pa ba?". "Hindi pa ba sapat? Anong bawi ang gagawin ko? Makakabawi pa ba ako?" Isip isip ka ngayon, mababaliw ka...

Walang nang mas sasakit pa sa kapag nagdalawang isip na ang taong mahal mo, bakit? Kasi ibinigay mo na ang lahat eh, tapos isang mali mo lang, magiisip na sya kung mahal mo pa ba sya, maaring napuno nlang ang taong ito sayo, pero naman! Kung talagang tiwala ka sa pagmamahal na binibigay nya sayo una palang, dapat hindi ka na nagdalawang isip pa.

Love? Walang makakaexplain nyan ehh...magulo at malabo. Masakit na masaya. Masarap na mapakla. At kahit ayaw ko sana na ganto ang kalabasan ng blog na toh, nagiging totoo lang ako sa sarili ko.

Minsan kang magmamahal ng taong mamahalihn ka din pero pakakawalan ka, bakit? maraming dahilan...pero ang ending? hindi sya ang taong pra sayo. Sa dami ng dahilan maguguluhan ka, pero isa lang ang dapat na isipin ng taong bigo sa pagibig...alam mo kung ano?

Hindi ko din alam.

Dahil tulad ng karamihan, hanggang ngayon, pinagiisipan ko parin yan.

Isa pa,

Kung ang taong mahal ko, ay nagdadalawang isip sa tunay na nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, alam nyo kung anong gagawin ko??

Hindi ko parin alam.

Bakit? Anong bang dapat, and ipilit na ipamukha sa kanya na mahal ko sya o ang hayaan na lang ba sya ang makatuklasan nun? Is it his call? kasalanan ba nya na hindi nya maramdaman at tinake for granted ang lahat? O kasalan ko, dahil naging comfortable ako na alam nyang mahal ko sya?

Sa dalawang sitwasyon na isinulat ngayon.

Walang may kasalan.

Magulo lang talaga.

Masakit isipin.

Nakakaparalisa.

Kaya kung ako, tulad ng nakasanayan ko na.

Hayaan nalang na ang panahon at ang oras ang maghilom at ang sumagot ng lahat.

Sa ngayon, yaman din lamang at wala akong magawa:


ABSORB AND LET GO.

peace.

sabog lang si badong

pagod ako,pero gusto ko pang magsulat..
wala ng sense ang mga lalabas sa utak ko, pero sige isusulat ko lang...
hindi ko na dapat pinagkakaabalahang gawin toh, pero cge tuloy lang..
gusto ko lang mag sulat,
pagudin pa lalo ang puyat ko ng utak...
ang tuyo ko ng isip..
at msakit na katawan..

bakit ba?
emo ba?
wala akong magawa ehh..

stressed na ko..
kaw kya dito...

heheheh...

sabaw ako..
salamt ah, andito ka pa...
tinutuloy mo parin ang pagbasa..
ano, nakakaaliw ba?
o nagmumukha na akong tanga?

ewan ko sayo!

nagbabasa ka pa rin naman ehh...
baka pareho lang tayo..
kung di mo ko kilala,
sigurado, wala kang naiintindihan sa mga sinasabi ko...

ok lang...

di ko nman inaasahan na hanggang dito, aabot ka.
malapit ng matapos ang moment ko na toh..

mamaya o bukas lang,
mtino na ulit ang mga isusulat ko...

pero sa ngaun..
t*e, pagod na talaga ako..

oh pano, dito nlang..
itutulog ko nalang muna toh...

sigurado pag gising,
laban na nman..

sabi ng matatapos na ehh...

oh sha, hanggang dito nlang talaga..

sencia ka na,
sabog si badong.



at para lang klaro sa mga nagbasa,
maniwala kayo,
hindi ako nakainom.
sober ako.
sabog lang.


PEACE. ☺

what's next?

A man who does not have a plan is a man whose living in vain.

This is something I read at one of the billboards in EDSA on my way home from work at 9 in the morning.

This made me stop and think, and as I munch on my Jollibee take out breakfast I say to my self, "Is this entirely true?" I mean to live a planned life in contrast to living a care free life, which is more fruitful? which life would I rather live?

Do not get me wrong, I do have plans, and Im happy when things go the way I planned them to. Im proud to say that out of my 21 years of existence, Ive already proven myself, in some way. Ive already graduated and I have a job. I know Im someone one can rely to and I know that so far, Ive been good. That I have plans which are all waiting to be uncovered, I have dreams waiting to be fulfilled. But then somewhere deep inside is a rebel, who would eagerly switch a day in the office to a day of booze and party, a day of which I will not think of the consequences of my actions. Just a day of immaturity and as my mom would say, a day of irresponsibilty and unnacountabilty. Something no parent would approve off.

But then as I think further,and halfway through my breakfast, I thought, Sure. A day of that would be fun, but to live like that EVERYDAY? To know that the day has just been wasted and your life is ticking away and you're still not going anywhere?Is it worth it in the end?

Cubao, my cup of hot chocolate just spilled on my foot. Ow.

And so as I approach our dear manong tricycle driver, I say to myself, "one can never live life without regrets". Life is made to be that way, I guess... You do something and take something for granted all the time. No one can tell me that they dont regret at least one thing in their life? I mean could it be that somewhere in this universe a certain someone was able to do EVERYTHING he wanted to? And he NEVER had a price to pay for it? C'mon who are we kidding?

...at my bed, and still thinking about this, damn that billboard notice...

And so, just to end this discussion in my head and because I just have to sleep already and I have the board exams to think about that I shouldn't have bothered to think about this, Ive come to this conclusion:

A man who does NOT know what to do NEXT is a man living in vain.

Why? because, even a party animal or drug addict shoud know what to do next be it buy a new dress for the party or sell something (TV, BLENDER, ETC..) in the house to pay for his vice. And having a plan does not always nean you have the upper hand in life, because things will go wrong and your plans A to Z may not always work, but to know what you want to do NEXT at least makes you feel that life has not yet ended. that its still coming and going like it always will.

It all just depends on how you view life, and how you make out of it. Doesnt matter what your plans are or whether or not you have plans, what matters is, as I said, knowing what you want to do NEXT.

Insane Queen.

There she was, amidst all the pain and shame she continously walks as if nothing happened, as if nothing matters. As if she were invisible and no one was watching her, staring at her, judging her every move.

She walks on with head help up high, and though knees are buckling and her fist are clenched with anger,she just walks on...ignoring every nerve that she felt was ready to explode. Blinking the tears away, smiling as if the world was smiling back at her.

Weak but wanting to be strong. Strong but always on the verge of tears. Crying and laughing like an insane queen.

The talks behind her back, and the stones being thrown at her is wearing her down. The pride she has is being torn apart. But no, she wont say anything. She wont. Not now.

The queen would swallow everything down, for now.

The queen would remain indifferent, for now.

The queen would laugh, live her life and stay invinsible, for now.



And the queen will stand up, fight and get her glory back.

The queen will stand up, shout and let eveything out.

The queen will rise and shut everyone's mouth.




In time.

MINSAN

this is something I wrote way way back. One of my favorites. read on.

minsan
minsan nangangarap tau ng gising.
iniisip ang di dapat isipin.
minsan kahit alm n nating hndi puwede tuloy pa rin.

minsan nangangarap tau ng gising.
pag nagkatotoo.tayo, tuliro.
pag umamin.tayo, gulong-gulo.
pag andyan na siya.tayo, nagtatago.
pag nawala.tayo, luluha.
minsan nangangarap tau ng gising.
minsan nagmamahal tau ng praning.
minsan minamahal tau ng praning.
minsan pati tayo praning.minsan pati ibang tao naprapraning natin.
minsan nangangarap tau ng gising.
pag nag katotoo.tinataguan natin.
pag nawala.hinahanap natin.

pag ang minsan dumating.
hawaka't damhin.
dahil ay minsan ay minsan lang.
wag hayaang makalusot lamang.

dahil ang minsan ay minsan lang.
wag hayaang lumipas lamang.
dahil minsan.

ang minsan.

minsan tumatagal yan.

INTANGIBLE

Just when the waters running dry and the streams running low a spark of creativity run through me, and hoorah! my fountain of thoughts has emerged - yet again.

It has been years since I last had this outburst, and boy do I miss it. Writing has always been one of my passions and setting it aside was something I never planned to do. But things happened, one emotional roller coaster led to another, to another and another.. Leaving me drained and truly uninspired. Years passed and soon I realize that writing has evaded me, somehow... Gone are the days when a piece of tissue paper from joliibee would be my work of literary explosion. Gone are the days when anything could inspire me, be it the frog that I had just disected to the rainbow i saw on the way home. Evidently, the talent that I thought I had, escaped me. As my bestfriend monica and I call it, my writing skills are rusted.

And boy do I want to get them polished

Writing was once second nature to me, Ive lost it once and Im getting it back. Sure, I may not be as good as I was before. My brain probably isnt that naive anymore to be fascinated with the smallest tiniest stuff, I know for sure I've grown. Grown to be someone I know I can be proud of. Grown to be someone whose true to herself. Someone who accepts emotions, may it be pain or pure bliss.

Life is short. Im sure you've heard of that. And though it can end it a blink of an eye, Its comforting to know that as you dwell in the land of spirits may it be heaven or hell, you've left something intangible.

And as for me, leaving my thoughts, the way I view life and see things will be one of my accomplishments. Knowing that years, decades from now someone, somewhere will be reading this. Is indeed PRICELESS.

So let me write, let me pour my heart out. Hate me If I go emo, cheesy or downright senseless.

You read my blog and gave your time, that's good enough for me.
At the end of the day I gave you, in my own words and choice of expression : INTANGIBILITY.