Step NO? Step YES?

Ang araw nati'y tila bilang na
ni hindi ko maipaliwanag ang layon ng akdang ito.

Pamamaalam? marahil.

Ang mag bigay ng pag-asa?
hindi imposible...

Sa bawat hakbang papalapit sayo,
syang pag layo ko sa nilalang
nagnga-ngalang AKO.

Hindi mawari,
gulo-gulo at hindi tiyak kung san patungo.


Isa lng ang sigurado,

tuloy lang sa pag hakbang,
ang sugatan, pagod at duguang paang ito.

PARAISO (SMOKEY MOUNTAIN)

Return to a land called paraiso,
A place where a dying river ends.
No birds there fly over paraiso,
No space allows them to endure.
The smoke that screens the air,
The grass that's never there.

And if i could see a single bird, what a joy.
I try to write some words and create
A simple song to be heard
By the rest of the world.

I live in this land called paraiso,
In a house made of cardboard floors and walls.
I learned to be free in paraiso,
Free to claim anything i see.
Matching rags for my clothes,
Plastic bags for the cold.

And if empty cans were all i have, what a joy.
I never fight to take someone
Else's coins and live with fear
Like the rest of the boys.

Paraiso, help me make a stand.
Paraiso, take me by the hand
Paraiso, make the world understand
That if i could see a single bird, what a joy.
This tired and hungry land could expect
Some truth and hope and respect
From the rest of the world.

------- POST EARTHDAY ----------

WOW!

Let us all do our share in making our world a better place.


Thanks Kuya Bamm, Ate Pebbles, Ate Candy and Ate kay for introducing this song (and Smokey Mountain) to me as early as I was 4. Love you guys. Miss you all.

Untitled

You are God's gift,
but you are left unopened.

You are the song that I keep on singing,
but i can never sing your melody.

You make my every morning,
and in each morning reality begins...

You are my enemy,
you defy my gravity..

Fly?

you make me fly...

then you make me fall...

fall so freaking hard,
it hurts.

BUT I LIKE THE PAIN.
MORPHINE?
nah.

You are the crooked note on each song I sing,
but the music you make is so beautiful...

I could cry.

Each tear,

Each breath,

Each curse I give to the sky is yours.

Take it.

You deserve it.

YOU ARE DANGEROUS.

And I'm loving it.

Loving you.

Every moment, Im with you.



.....Goodbyes?


Never.

Not today.


Insane?

Me???

You can say that.

But didn't I tell you,
you keep my sanity.

YOU.

yes you.

Don't forget to visit me in dreams tonight.

Don't make me miss you too much.

And don't you dare...

FORGET, what you and I are...





NEVER.

SANITY.

When I close my eyes, I see you.

When I open them, I think of you.

When I lay down to sleep, I cant.

When I do, you're in my dreams.


The thought of you keeps me sane.
It keeps me from falling apart.

You're my sanity,
my reason for waking up.

The reason I daydream,
the reason I snap back to reality.

You're in my every breath,
you're in my system.

Try as they may to keep us apart,

I know.

We're bound to be.

.....

Together.

Discovering the simple things.

Play.

It reminds you of how you were when you were young.

Take a bath.

It cleanses you.

Go poo.

It makes you feel lighter.

Eat junk food.

For you to realize the GOOD in the bad.

Sing.

Release the bad vibes.

Dance Goofy.

Appreciate your silliness.

Pick your booger.

Its makes you think of nothing while your doing it. Giving you peace.

Brush your teeth.

It energizes you.

Talk your BFF.

She knows you more than you know your self.

Cry at the silliest things.

Believe your vulnerable, not invincible.
************


Be a kid.

for a day or two.

and realize the true you.

Journey back to myself. (DAY 1)

There are certain times when being alone is the best thing that we can give ourselves.

When there are questions that need to be answered, we often just turn to others for answers or even approval. But when the problem is within one's self, I believe we have no other choice but to look deep within, and be at peace with ourselves. There are problems and decisions that only you can answer - make. Some problems can only be solved,once we have found the little pieces of ourselves. There are problems that we have to FACE on our own. Not because we'd rather hurt alone, but because we have to make make sure that no one gets hurt in the process. Although, that is IMPOSSIBLE.

Why?

Because we are connected, human and vulnerable. All of us. Like it or not, someone will always want for you to do things his way. Or better yet, go his way. Someone will always be expecting something from you. And disappointment often leads to pain. Hurt. Resentment.

And UNTIL you have the peace within you, the strength and the COURAGE TO FOLLOW YOUR FREE HEART, you can never decide.

Life's a bitch, and I'm bitching out. I do not even know if I make sense or not. But one things for sure, I have to come at terms with myself. Not for no one, but for my sanity. With what's left of it.

Twisted.

Insecure.

Unsure.

Doubtful.

Confused.

In pain.

Brings pain.

Agony.

My life force sucked out from me.

Where to start? How to begin?

The truth, as everyone says is painful.

But its the only way to begin, to start anew.

To speak of the truth.

...


A clean slate? Impossible.

Someone has to sacrifice.

A heart will be broken.

Will it be mine?

Yours?

Ours?

EVERYONE's.


To speak of the truth.

But what is true?

I do not know.

Yet.

This. I.

Is not real after all.

Guessing could only take me this far.

Pretending has its cons.

...

LOST.

TWISTED.

...

Searching.

Reflecting.

yet again,

Looking.

Wondering.

This journey, has just begun.

BLANK

Blank.

Im blank.

With all the now-you-see-now-you-dont games we've been playing.

Im turning in blank.

So, hi hello...

what's up?

how should I react?

oh and pls tell me one thing?

why do i always end up guessing?

searching?

wondering?

is all these part of your plan?

and what is the plan?

cause, i do not understand.

so you should know,



My poker face wont be here for long.