the one who got away

may this few words that im about to say
touch your heart in so many ways

the way i looked in your eye, that day?
the day you said you felt I felt the same?
my eyes weren't lying.

the way our lips met, that day?
the day you felt things were falling to its place?
i felt the same.

when things didn't work out, and you said you'd wait.
i hoped.

we tried,
oh how we tried.

but then...

i found out that you've found someone new
i died.

and i got back up, lived my life.
then i died again.

reflect.

now your hurting,
how i wish i can take away the pain.

all the should've,
would've
could've
is coming back.

but your heart belongs to her now,
your eyes are wet because of her now,
she is the reason of your being now,
the reason you feel helpless now.

how i wish i can be her now.
so you wouldn't have to cry,
but then again, i made you cry.

things will never be between us,
all this wishing and dreaming won't help.


im a fool.
im stupid.
ive lost my mind.

regrets, as they say it.
we all have one.

i guess, its best to just be here.
to just laugh with you.
to just care for you.
to make things seem normal for you.

be the best friend to you.
be the ghost of you.


***never mind I'll find someone like you***
















you will always be the one who got away.

Paralyzed, yet again.

Getting confused
This pain I feel
This lump in my throat
This undesirable desire
Is all too familiar

Scared shitless
Unable to move
Paralyzed, yet again.

The words I heard
The stories told
The tears cried
Is all too familiar

The joy
The laughter
The love
The feelings felt
All too new.

New boundaries found
Limitations exceeded
Dreams coming to life
Light of day
Ray of sun
Bliss.

The love we cherished
The piece of our happiness we protected
The piece of sunlight we have
Stormed by intrigues
Stormed by doubts

How do I cope?

Are we meant to survive?
Is this all I would truly be?
Is this my destiny?

Why me?
Why you?
Why us?

Tell me, what do I do?

I longed to be loved
I longed to love
I longed for this
For us.

Gone?

Where do I go?
Which path do I choose?
Safety is a good place to be
Risks?
I've taken too many.

What now?
Decisions, decisions.








* you gave me hope that maybe things would be different, now I'm back to square one *

One last pop. A bad LSS.

Those nights in ur arms
The laughs that we had
The stares only we share
The magic of our connection
The bond of our friendship
The one true feeling we felt

All gone...
All gone...

The decision you've made shattered me
A part of me died
A friend lost forever
Forever, indeed.

I knew the fate of the selfish moves I've made
Still I hoped that you would not concede
I knew where it was going to end
But I expected a turn of events

I am one great lier
I told u to stop when I meant for you to go on
I told you I ddnt want to continue
When all I wanted was to be with you
I said you belonged with her
When what I was trying to say was for you to stay
I said we could never be
By that, I wanted to own you.

This and that...
This and that...

I want to say so much more.
So much more.


What has become of us?
The clown has passed
Enter the pit
Forever lost
Lost, indeed.

Goodbye mesmerizing bubble
Goodbye adored clown
My funny man
Thanks for making me realize where I stand
Thanks for closing the roller coaster chapter of our lives
Thanks for ending the one true feeling I felt.
Thanks for solving the puzzle
The mystery
The unsolved case which is me

The Clown. Forever gone. The bubble has disappeared. Pop. Now the sound of it resonates. Pop. Vibrates. Pop. Forever in my head. Pop. Like a bad LSS.









"Nkapgdesisyon n ako...tigil n...titigilan n kita..."

My Man

My man

My man makes me laugh
He gets all my jokes
My weirdness, he adores
My mind, he explores

My man knows me well
The meaning of my every smile he can tell
He knows the reason of my every sigh
Every look on face
Every sparkle on my eye

My man is smart
He knows things about me no one does
Things I wouldn't know about
Things he sees on the end of his world
Things only his eyes can see
He makes sure I see

My man and I share a connection
A bond only he and I have
One look and we know just know
We amaze each other
We are each others soul mate
We are who we are
But we are one

My man is brave, strong and dependable
He knows what he wants
He knows what he doesn't
He knows how to get things done

My man has a heart of gold
He holds my hand when I reach for him
Fixes my hair when the wind blows it
Caresses my face, wipes my tears
He's there when I need him
Answers when I call
Cares not only for me
But for everyone around me
Cares not only for us
But for the world that revolves around us

My man
Is missing
He's jst around the corner
I haven't found him yet
But when he comes
I'll be here

Game on!

http://youtu.be/FHp2KgyQUFk

I wanted you bad, I'm so through with that.

Thank God you blew it, I thank God i've dodged a bullet

positive vibes.

I found the good in goodbye.

I WILL FIND MY MAN.

not now.

... in time.

I AM HEALING THOUGH.

THE PATH TO HAPPINESS IS CLEAR.

*sulong!!! lakad!!! takbo!!! gapang!!!

malapit na..onti nalang...***

LETTING GO

Some people are born fighters.

now, I fight, but I know how to let it go.

3 months has passed,

my hearts been crushed,

broken and

shattered into pieces.

The pride I've had left,

vanished.

taken away from my hand, willingly, I gave the only thing I had.

Because of what people would call love.

love?

really?

My best friend in the entire world, told me this.

" you fed your ego."

how true.

now...

fast forward,

letting go.

I have learned to let him go.

All the negativity.

All the bad vibes surrounding me.

I have one more to give up.

This one's harder than the first one.

I have to.

Like a friend told me,

WE HAVE TO CHANGE WHO WE ARE TO CHANGE OUR LIVES.

green. yellow. red.

i ran until i ran out of road.

i leapt until ive escaped the atmosphere.

i cried until my tears vanished.

i walked until my feet were sore.

i never stopped, never will.

this is me,

i never quit.

i know better now though,

this path, where i am now makes me happy.

take me or leave me.

life goes on.

i am better than this.

no pain shall faze me.

i am invinsible.

i am badong. i fight.

i am free,

from you...

from this...

i am alive.

i died,

but as we all know,

i survived.

HB BDB

this is it!

the day of all days!

lets us celebrate.

liberate!

I wont care.

today's the day, we should all dare.

how brave, how brave...

a pat on the back.

goodness gracious! a devil in disguise.

My clown has grown into something beautiful.

Scared as I may be, how often do I have to say that he captivates me?

Mesmerizing, yet again.

This little beat has become unbearable.

A lump in my throat.

Overdrive with want

could this be love?

we could never tell.

A roller coaster ride, one last round.

The domino effect

A butterfly effect?

Chaotic,

What a beautiful mess.

So Magical,

Hypnotizing.





One last go, shall we?





I am again, ready for the taking.

blueberry cheesecake and choco milkshake days

its days like this when i get to think about the day we met. you always had the charm of the devil. you knew didn't you? that you'd get me all twisted? that one day I'll call your name. That one day I just might die shouting your name silently.

it is unfair. life as we know it. selfish as we both maybe, we truly care. we say were cool, but we know we're scared. scared shitless.

DEFENSE MECHANISM!!

so as hot as today maybe.

there will always be choco milkshakes and blueberry cheesecakes.

mad.

you confuse me like no man ever did.

i use to know your every move.

i use to think i had u by the balls.

i guess that's the 1st mistake i ever made.

thinking it would never end,

that i would always have the upper hand.

now i feel like ive lost you.

but i tried.

I WAS NOT THE BEST.

I MADE MISTAKES.

but I EFFING TRIED.

and im still trying..

but im so tired,

i know i dont deserve this,

but i guess it doesnt matter,

coz u keep on doing it anyway.

so go on,

it wont be long.

I swear,

you will regret this.

Dear Mr.

Doubtful of where I stand,

Unstable.

The wind is cold and and I feel myself drifting away.

Sometimes I feel that the ocean would just take me away,

I often think if what Im seeing is true,

because for some reason, I am blinded by you.

If this is a trap, then Im in deep shit,

If not, then, for crying out loud tell me the truth.

I am way in too deep, to truly even care.

But I know, that If I am right,

...things would not last.

I've been burned, and I am in hell...

and If I get fooled again,

Its on your head.

Now dont be scared,

I know its hard,

but like they always say, the truth shall set you free.

And truth, most often than not...

HURTS ALOT.

If I am wrong, then pls forgive me.

Im just trying to protect my heart, my sanity and dear life.


...

Life on a train. Sa bubong ng MRT.

Que es la vida?

un frenesi

Ano nga ba ang buhay?

Isang kahibangan

Que es la vida?,

una ilusion

Ano nga ba ang buhay?

Isang Ilusyon

una sobra, una ficcion

Isang anino, Isang kasinungalingan

y el mayor bien es pequeno

at ang malalaking biyaya'y , maliliit parin

que toda la vida es sueno

Dahil ang buhay ay Isa lamang pangarap

y los sueno, sueno son

at ang mga pangarap ay pangarap lang.

-- Pedro Calderon De La Barca, La Vida Es Sueno, Madrid 1600-1681