Paralyzed, yet again.

Getting confused
This pain I feel
This lump in my throat
This undesirable desire
Is all too familiar

Scared shitless
Unable to move
Paralyzed, yet again.

The words I heard
The stories told
The tears cried
Is all too familiar

The joy
The laughter
The love
The feelings felt
All too new.

New boundaries found
Limitations exceeded
Dreams coming to life
Light of day
Ray of sun
Bliss.

The love we cherished
The piece of our happiness we protected
The piece of sunlight we have
Stormed by intrigues
Stormed by doubts

How do I cope?

Are we meant to survive?
Is this all I would truly be?
Is this my destiny?

Why me?
Why you?
Why us?

Tell me, what do I do?

I longed to be loved
I longed to love
I longed for this
For us.

Gone?

Where do I go?
Which path do I choose?
Safety is a good place to be
Risks?
I've taken too many.

What now?
Decisions, decisions.








* you gave me hope that maybe things would be different, now I'm back to square one *