Paralyzed, yet again.

Getting confused
This pain I feel
This lump in my throat
This undesirable desire
Is all too familiar

Scared shitless
Unable to move
Paralyzed, yet again.

The words I heard
The stories told
The tears cried
Is all too familiar

The joy
The laughter
The love
The feelings felt
All too new.

New boundaries found
Limitations exceeded
Dreams coming to life
Light of day
Ray of sun
Bliss.

The love we cherished
The piece of our happiness we protected
The piece of sunlight we have
Stormed by intrigues
Stormed by doubts

How do I cope?

Are we meant to survive?
Is this all I would truly be?
Is this my destiny?

Why me?
Why you?
Why us?

Tell me, what do I do?

I longed to be loved
I longed to love
I longed for this
For us.

Gone?

Where do I go?
Which path do I choose?
Safety is a good place to be
Risks?
I've taken too many.

What now?
Decisions, decisions.








* you gave me hope that maybe things would be different, now I'm back to square one *

One last pop. A bad LSS.

Those nights in ur arms
The laughs that we had
The stares only we share
The magic of our connection
The bond of our friendship
The one true feeling we felt

All gone...
All gone...

The decision you've made shattered me
A part of me died
A friend lost forever
Forever, indeed.

I knew the fate of the selfish moves I've made
Still I hoped that you would not concede
I knew where it was going to end
But I expected a turn of events

I am one great lier
I told u to stop when I meant for you to go on
I told you I ddnt want to continue
When all I wanted was to be with you
I said you belonged with her
When what I was trying to say was for you to stay
I said we could never be
By that, I wanted to own you.

This and that...
This and that...

I want to say so much more.
So much more.


What has become of us?
The clown has passed
Enter the pit
Forever lost
Lost, indeed.

Goodbye mesmerizing bubble
Goodbye adored clown
My funny man
Thanks for making me realize where I stand
Thanks for closing the roller coaster chapter of our lives
Thanks for ending the one true feeling I felt.
Thanks for solving the puzzle
The mystery
The unsolved case which is me

The Clown. Forever gone. The bubble has disappeared. Pop. Now the sound of it resonates. Pop. Vibrates. Pop. Forever in my head. Pop. Like a bad LSS.









"Nkapgdesisyon n ako...tigil n...titigilan n kita..."